REALITY?

WHAT'S REAL? WHAT IS?.... ....
IS IT TRUE THAT I AM ALONE IN THIS WORLD WITH NOTHING
BUT A MIND.
A MIND WITH NO LIMITATIONS
AND WITHOUT AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL.?
I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME UNBELIEVABLE THINGS.
I HAVE DONE SOME UNFORGIVABLE THINGS.
I'VE EXPERIENCED LONELINESS SO HIDDEN
THAT GOD COULDN'T DETECT AND RAIN
COULDN'T OF MOISTENED.
THEY SAY THAT I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS SORROW BUT I DISAGREE.
THEY SAY "HE" IS ALWAYS WATCHING
BUT I DISAGREE. SOMETIMES I FEEL OF NO VALUE.
WHAT'S REAL?
IS IT TRUE THAT I'M ALIVE AND NOT DREAMING? DREAMING TO BE ALIVE BUT AM ALREADY DAMNED? WHY LIVE ON WHILE MY REALITY IS DRAINING. I ALWAYS FELT THAT I BELONGED TO A HIGHER PLACE. I LOOKED AT OTHERS AND FELT ASSURED THAT I WAS DIFFERENT. I WAS OWED A DEBT AND IT WOULD BE PAID IN FULL ONE DAY. NOW I GRIEVE IN ANGER AND FRUSTRATION CLINCHING MY FIST AND OPENING AND BALLING MY FIST COMING UP WITH NOTHING. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY, MY FUTURE YOU OWE ME MOTHERFUCKER.! NOW DAYS I LOOK AT OTHERS IN DISCUSS THINKING THAT THEY STOLE FROM ME THEY KNOW WHERE IT IS, THEY KNOW WHAT I DESERVE AND THEY CAN'T STAND IT, THEY ARE JEALOUS OF ME BECAUSE THEY CANT HAVE IT!