DAMAGE CONTROL

SO I POSTED SOME PSYCHOTIC doodle AND IT MADE ME FEEL AWESOME. TO ALL THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME I'M NOT A PSYCHOTIC MAD MAN THIS IS THE WAY I VENT. WOO! EXHALE! WOO!

REALITY?

WHAT'S REAL? WHAT IS?.... ....
IS IT TRUE THAT I AM ALONE IN THIS WORLD WITH NOTHING
BUT A MIND.
A MIND WITH NO LIMITATIONS
AND WITHOUT AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL.?
I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME UNBELIEVABLE THINGS.
I HAVE DONE SOME UNFORGIVABLE THINGS.
I'VE EXPERIENCED LONELINESS SO HIDDEN
THAT GOD COULDN'T DETECT AND RAIN
COULDN'T OF MOISTENED.
THEY SAY THAT I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS SORROW BUT I DISAGREE.
THEY SAY "HE" IS ALWAYS WATCHING
BUT I DISAGREE. SOMETIMES I FEEL OF NO VALUE.
WHAT'S REAL?
IS IT TRUE THAT I'M ALIVE AND NOT DREAMING? DREAMING TO BE ALIVE BUT AM ALREADY DAMNED? WHY LIVE ON WHILE MY REALITY IS DRAINING. I ALWAYS FELT THAT I BELONGED TO A HIGHER PLACE. I LOOKED AT OTHERS AND FELT ASSURED THAT I WAS DIFFERENT. I WAS OWED A DEBT AND IT WOULD BE PAID IN FULL ONE DAY. NOW I GRIEVE IN ANGER AND FRUSTRATION CLINCHING MY FIST AND OPENING AND BALLING MY FIST COMING UP WITH NOTHING. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY, MY FUTURE YOU OWE ME MOTHERFUCKER.! NOW DAYS I LOOK AT OTHERS IN DISCUSS THINKING THAT THEY STOLE FROM ME THEY KNOW WHERE IT IS, THEY KNOW WHAT I DESERVE AND THEY CAN'T STAND IT, THEY ARE JEALOUS OF ME BECAUSE THEY CANT HAVE IT!

THE S.T.O.R.E.Y (securing,tommorrow's.opportunities.reaching.exceptional.youth)CENTER

SO MY MOTHERS RUNNING FOR MAYOR!

YES A NORTHWEST SUBURB OF CHICAGO CALLED BELLWOOD IS ABOUT TO WITNESS THE JEANETTE JOHNSON TAKE OVER! SO OF COURSE I'M HELPING OUT WITH THE CAMPAIGN IN '09.

THE FIRST STEP IN PENETRATING THE VILLAGE WITH OUR COMMUNITY EFFORTS IS BUILDING A YOUTH FACILITY THAT ENCOMPASSES ATHLETIC FACILITIES; BASKETBALL COURTS, TENNIS, SOCCER. PLANNED PARENTHOOD OFFICES FOR CLINICAL SERVICES FOR THE YOUTH. COMMUNITY CHURCH OFFICES FOR RELIGIOUS SERVICES A TEEN MAY WISH TO SEEK OUT. UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICES FOR STAFFING AGENCIES TO HELP OTHERS FIND JOBS. AND THE LIST OF OFFICES WILL BE ADDED PENDING ON THE DEMAND.

WE ARE NOW AT THE STAGE OF ASKING FOR INVESTORS AND STAKEHOLDERS TO BUY INTO THIS PROJECT. WE HAVE NARROWED THE SEARCH OF BUILDING SITES AND HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA ON LOCATION AND PLAN TO START CONSTRUCTION FALL '08.

LIVING IN BELLWOOD FOR SOME YEARS IT'S SAD TO SEE THE AMOUNT OF KIDS 11-18 WHO DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IN THEIR COMMUNITY THAT'S CUSTOMIZED FOR THEM. SOMETHING THAT FITS THEIR LIFESTYLE, INTEREST AND SCHEDULE. THIS PROJECT IS NEEDED SOOO MUCH. ASKING TROUBLED ADOLESCENCE "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ON THE CORNER? THEY RESPOND, "THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO". WHO'S RESPONSIBILITY IS IT TO CREATE SOMETHING TO DO? WORKERS FOR THE S.T.O.R.E.Y CENTER BELIEVE THAT IT'S THE COMMUNITIES RESPONSIBILITY. BELOW ARE SOME OF THE STATISTICS CURSING OUR YOUTH TODAY IMPLYING THE OVERWHELMING NEED FOR THE S.T.O.R.E.Y CENTER.

• -BETWEEN THE AGES OF 11-18 ARE THE MOST PROFOUND IN LIFE-

1. PEOPLE WHO SMOKE CIGARETTES STARTED IN THIS AGES GROUP
2. THE RISING RATES OF STD'S ARE ATTRACTED DURING THIS AGE GROUP
3. SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES ARE BORN DURING THESE AGES
4. STREET GANG VICTIMS ARE THE HIGHEST IN THIS AGE GROUP

ALL OF US INVOLVED WITH THIS PROJECT ARE OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONES. IT'S A CASE OF HAVING DREAMS, PLANS, BUT WITH KNOW EXPERIENCE OF WRITING GRANTS, MISSION STATEMENTS AND BECOMING INCORPORATED AS A NON-PROFIT. IF THEIRS ANYONE OUT THERE WHO CAN SHED SOME LIGHT PLEASE DO. LET'S MAKE A CHANGE PEOPLE AND SECURE.TOMORROW.OPPORTUNITIES.REACHING.EXCEPTIONAL.YOUTH.!!!

!!! FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA !!!

I DON'T REMEMBER OBSERVING A STRONG, INTELLIGENT, ARTICULATE, BLACK, INDEPENDENT WOMEN SINCE THE FALL OF WHITNEY HOUSTON. . I GUESS I COULD GIVE MORE CREDIT TO CONDALEEZA AND A PLETHORA OF OTHER INDIVIDUALS BUT THEY DON'T MOVE ME TO SAY THESE THINGS. DID ANY BODY SEE MICHELLE OBAMA AT THE L.A RALLY THIS WEEKEND? DAMN!!!!! THAT WOMEN IS FIERCE. A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE THAT CALIBER OF A MIND IS COMMENDABLE. BECAUSE BEING A MAN WITH ALL MY EGO HAS TO HUMBLE IN ADMITTING SHE IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.

SHE TOUCHED ON SOME TOPICS THAT PROVOKED INDEPENDENT THINKING.

SUCH AS:

• HOW IS IT THAT OBAMA IS THE MOST EDUCATED OF CANDIDATES BUT IS NOT EXPECTED TO GET THE JOB?
• WHY DOES IT FEEL WEIRD TO SEE SOMEONE THAT LOOKS LIKE ME RUN FOR PRESIDENT?
• DOES MARIA SHRIVER'S HUSBAND KNOW WHERE SHE'S @ ?
• WHEN DID OPRAH BECOME A PASTOR?

AND THE QUESTIONS GO ON FOR DAYS. I LOVED IT WHEN SHE SPOKE ABOUT HOW SHE AND BARACK AREN'T SPECIAL. SHE SAYS THEY ARE ANOTHER VIEW THAT THE MEDIA DOESN'T SHOW BLACKS IN AMERICA. BECAUSE MANY OF US ARE INTELLIGENT AND ARTICULATE AND HONEST AND NOT THIEVES AND HEARTLESS CRIMINALS. I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS CAMPAIGN BECAUSE I AM REALIZING THAT I AM APART OF A GENERATION THAT HAS BEEN WAITING ON IT'S SELF FOR A LIFE TIME.

Green Line from 51st to Harlem

PAPER BAGS
PLASTIC BAGS
FUNNY SMELLS
PAPER TRAILS
BEAT UP STREETS
CORRODING BRICK
BUILDINGS SIT
STREET LAMPS HANG
CARD BOARD NAILED SHUT
GLAZED EYES OPEN SHUT
TRAIN ROLLS AND SPARKS
ON TO THE NEXT STOP.

SKY SCRAPPER STAND
ROOF TOP
BLUES SPOT
HOTELS HISTORICAL
FINE CUISINE DIET
CONSCIOUS MIND APPETITE
MUSEUM ATTRACTS A FLEET
FIRE STAIRCASE CLIMB THE SIDES OF BUILDINGS
CELLPHONE TEXTING
EDUCATION INSTITUTE
THEATRICAL STAGE SELF PARK
HORIZON CROWDED ARCHITECT
COLLOSOL SIGNS
SATELLITE DISHES
FOG IS FED
HIGHWAYS AHEAD
CRANES COME THROUGH TO BUILD SOMETHING NEW
WHILE THE TRAIN TRACKS LEAD
TO THE NEXT SCENE.

BARBWIRE LINKED
ABANDONED STREET
FACTORY MACHINE
CHURCH APEX SEEN
GRAFFITI ON THE WATER TOWER
SCHOOL HOUSE LOOKS CHEAP
HOUSES LOOK THE SAME
PARK APPEARS ABRUPTLY
GOLDEN DOME SMACK DAD INMIDDLE
VACANT LOTS SPRINKLED HERE
BUILDINGS RESEMBLING CORPSES
DEAD REMAINING
STEEL PILLED HIGH
CHILD CARE STORE FRONTS
NO TRESSPASSING BY POLICE ORDER SIGNS
GATED UP EVERYTHING
SENIOR SUITES........
.....AND SPEAKING OF OLD
HERE'S MY STOP.

INTRODUCING SHAUL (SHA-OOL)

MY NAME IS SHAULIEL A HEBREW ISREALITE NAME MEANING aSK OF gOD. fRIENDS AND FAMILY CALL ME sHAUL OR sHA FOR SHORT. aS A RAPPER, YES I SAID IT A "raPPER" WE'LL GET INTO THAT LATER BUT MY STAGE NAME IS SHAOO. THE NAME SHAwN WAS CREATED IN SIX grADE WHEN My tEACHER INSISTED THAT i sHOULD hAVE A nICK NAME tHAT SHE COULD pRONOUNCE SO wHAT THE HELL cALL ME sHAWn. i GUESS YOU CAN CALL ME THE GUY OF mANY NAMES OR tAKE YOUR pICK.

I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN CHICAGO ALONG WITH TWO SISTERS AND A BROTHER. I GREW UP LIKE EVERY OTHER INNER CITY HOOD SPLIT IN TWO. ONE SIDE WANTING TO DO WHATS RIGHT WHILE THE OTHER SIDE DID EVERYTHING ELSE. I LIVED IN A SINGLE PARENT HOME MEANING I HAD ALL THE FUN IN THE WORLD. AFTER SCHOOL INSTEAD OF HAVING DINNER COOKING AND A PARENT STANDING ON TOP OF ME MAKING SURE HOMEWORKS GETTING COMPLETE. I READ A NOTE THAT WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS: HEY ITS YOUR MOM I LEFT 20 DOLLARS ON THE BED SO EVERYBODY CAN GET SOMETHING TO EAT. MAKE SURE EVERY BODIES IN THE HOUSE BY THE TIME THE STREET LIGHTS COME ON. I LOVE YOU. AND THATS IT. WHILE THE REST OF CHICAGO WAS EATING THEIR MOTHERS NASTY MEATLOAF AND LEFT OVERS OF WACKNESS MY BROTHER AND SISTERS ATE CHEESE BURGERS, PIZZA PUFFS, ITALIAN BEEFS, CHEESY FRIES AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU CAN FIND ON A GREEZY SPOON MENU.

FROM THE MOMENT I WAS BORN UNTIL NOW I'VE NEVER KNOWN HOW TO LOVE ANYTHING ELSE BUT WORDS AND SOUNDS/POETRY AND MUSIC. ITS MY SHIZITT!! I HAVE A GREAT APPRECIATION AND RESPECT TO ALL GOOD ORATORS, SINGERS, SONG WRITERS, AUTHORS AND THE AVERAGE JOE AND JANE WITH THE GIFT OF GAB. MY TALENTS IN THIS FIELD IS LIKE AN ELUSIVE CHANT ALWAYS ON THE TIP OF MY TONG NEVER WITHIN MY GRIP. I ADVENTURE IN AND OUT OF RAPPING THESE DAYS I'VE BEEN OUT MORE SO THAN IN. LATELY FOR ME MY music SUCKS! I AM EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED WITH MY ABILITIES TO SPEAK, WRITE, EVEN READ. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I THINK MY LOVE AND I ARE AT A BIT OF A CROSS ROAD. SOMETIME I FEEL SHE WANTS TO LEAVE ME, MAYBE FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN ARTICULATE HER BETTER. OR EXPAND ON HER HORIZON WITH OUT CLINCHING WEBSTER WITH CLAMMY PALMS RUNNING OUT OF WORDS. BOY, AM I PITIFUL. I USE TO BE IN A RAP GROUP CALLED GUTTER BROS. WE DID SHOWS AROUND THE MIDWEST MAINLY IN IOWA. WE HAD A REAL INDIE UNDERGROUND BACK PACK HIP HOP FEEL. PEOPLE SEEMED TO LIKE IT THE FEW THAT HEARD IT. AND EVEN THEN MY CONNECTION WITH MUSIC WASN'T GENUINE.

I TEND TO DO WHAT I FEEL. AND TO SOME PEOPLE THAT MAY SEEM AS A LUXURY BUT TO ME ITS A PRICE I CANT ALWAYS AFFORD TO PAY. I DRIFT TO AND FROM THINGS TOO MUCH, IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE GOALS, CAREERS, LIKES AND DISLIKES, SHORT TERM AND IN THE FUTURE. I CANT HELP IT I FEEL WHAT I DO ITS A CURSE! I BELIEVE ITS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ME BEING A SAGITTARIUS. I HAVE TOO MUCH PASSION. I'M ALWAYS SO SCORCHING HOT I BURN DOWN THINGS UNTIL NOTHINGS LEFT TO FEED THE FLAMES. HUH?

????

i find myself drowning
during times through the lions
den i'm in the blood
slow leaking out again
love!?thisaintit
and if it is, keep it!
learn not to trust
instead how to bust a head
friends aint the same
enemies numbers double
triple and quadruple feel the synergy muffle
so i.

i pick up a glock and door knock
this is lucifer i make ya whole world hot.
last week was all peace
shared laughs gave toast
broke bread with the old folks
wisdom is the hostess
for dumb folk
please pass the peas